Atlético Mexico
Atlético Mexico F.C '''(often shortened to '''Mexico) are a very professional Association Football club, based in Edinburgh, Scotland. They currently play in the Edinburgh University Intramural Football Sunday Division 2 League (EUIMF), the second level of Sunday intramural football. They currently hold the honour of the only team to refuse promotion to EUMIF Division 1. Atlético have won no trophies to date, but have won the fear and respect of their opponents on multiple occasions. The club was founded in 2009 by the merger of Holland House FC and some other people, and has played at its current home ground, Peffermill Astro since 2011. They previously played at Peffermill Grass before being shafted. Mexico play their home games at Peffermill Astro (PEFA), soon to be rebranded The El Tequito Fajita Sauce™'Stadium'. The current capacity stands at 20 standing or 10 sitting. Atleti's home kit is green with white sleeves, white/ see-thru shorts, accompanied by red socks. The current kit has been used since September 2011. Previously the kit was PEFA green with green sleeves, although finances meant not all players could have a shirt. As a result the Mexicans would often wear t-shirts from the night before, or offer to 'go skins'. During their history, the club have been known by a number of names/ nicknames, including Los Escarabajos del Estiercol ''(The Dung Beetles), due to their quality of football. The club was also formerly known as '''Mexico F.C, F.C Mexico '''and '''Athletico Mexico '(sic). 'In popular culture' *Mexico were recently included as a playable team in FIFA 12, with Pete Syrda asked to be on the front of the box. Controversially Syrda declined due to the release of his own game 'Pete Syrda's World League Soccer '12'. The game was largely lambasted by critics for it's shoddy gameplay and lack of teams (the only team available being Syrda XI, comprised of 11 Pete Syrda's). *Former manager and current player George Gunn played guitar on Bo Selecta single 'Proper Crimbo'. *Midfield talisman Josh Seager was asked to guest star in an episode of The Simpsons in 2007. Unfortunately the episode never made it to air due to the player "looking too similar to Sideshow Bob". *Former player Tom Cartwright will carry the Olympic flame on the final leg of it's journey for the London 2012 Olympics, replacing David Beckham for the role. *Mexican superstar Higuain McGurtos is currently the face of Taco Bell, having starred in several badly dubbed adverts. The ad campaign also has an obnoxiously big billboard of the player eating a taco in Times Square. *Mexican stalwart and current manager, Charlie Croft, came runner up to Kara Tointon in the 2010 series of Strictly Come Dancing. Croft was on course for victory when he amazingly failed to turn up for his final dance. Croft later admitted that he got caught up back stage discussing Seager's future with former Mexican, Neville Galvin. *Dan 'hopeless' Hope has received universal acclaim for his staring cameo in a 2009 Pizza Hut advert, in which he humoursely misses his mouth when trying to eat a slice of pizza. Filming took 100 takes. *It is banditos' folk lore that Mexican right back, Russel Irving, has a penis longer then his arm. When asked for confirmation, McGurtos replied 'yes, but his mother is a whore'. 'Controversy' *The club is currently subject to a multi-million peso lawsuit by the Mexican FA for defamation of image. The club were accused of displaying the national flag backwards at a recent awards ceremony. *In 2011 the club were also accused of tapping up Ciaron Kerr from league rivals Resevoir Knobs. The case was ultimately written off after the club went into administration. *Player Jamie Munro was recently arrested on suspicion of public nudity after surviving relegation but was let off with a caution. *In 2010/2011's second el Classico, McGurtos, after scoring a retaken penalty, deficated on a Liger's shirt in front of the frenzied legasta home fans. McGurtos has been under 24-hour protection ever since. *In a memorable 2-1 victory away to the Hairy Meng in the 2010/2011 season, Josh Seager performed a tackle so horrific that he was later charged with assault occasioning actual bodily harm. He received a yellow card. *The relationship that Chris Muir's shares with George 'Georgey' Gunn has come under heavy scrutiny by opposing fans, management and the general media. It is commen to hear the Mexican bench urging Gunn to dive at every opportunity when Muris is running the line. As a result, Gunn has spent most of his playing career on his arse. * When Gunn's brother , Henry, came on as a substitute in the 4-0 defeat to Borrusia Muchenflapjack in the 2010/2011, it is believed that Muir's ejaculated in his pants. *Josh Seager was banned for 4 matches during the 2009/2010 season for flashing his genitalia to Feynmen fans in response to anti-semetic abuse. *Mexico have never been represented by an ethnic minority. *Matt Essery, a one time player of the year, has missed much of the past two seasons with a 'dodgy knee', yet was caught break dacning on the evening of Mexico's record equalling defeat to the Hairy Meng, 8-2, in Edinburgh night Club, the Hive. *Two of Mexico's longest serving players, Tom Wilson and Josh Seager, have never spoken. *